"Not That One!"
Not That One! is a comedy routine made famous by American comedian Stagg Chile. The premise of the sketch is Stagg (or the performer) selecting an object (usually a cup) from a group of others. The routine is commonly performed when selecting an object from a group of three. The routine is most commonly watched during its performance when Stagg appeared in 2019 on The Barraclough Brothers TV show (episode 8). However, Stagg regularly performs live on stage.
History
Stagg Chile developed the idea of the routine as early as 2014, when he ad-libbed during a live performance in Manchester. Stagg was surprised by the reception he got from it and made it his signature routine. Stagg's version of the routine is commonly referred to when it is mentioned, but his name also brings about his slogan/motto, "Staaaaaaaaaaagg.... Chileeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Stagg Chile regularly performed this routine with slight variations throughout 2015 until Fall 2019, when he stopped touring for fear of the impending pandemic. Stagg Chile has returned to stage in the early months of 2021, after he received his dose.
Script
The routine's most memorable script is recited during its The Barraclough Brothers performance, wherein he shortens it.
Opening:
Augh! So! What do we do??
Select a cup!!??
Okay, what options??
Cherry...(rrgh!) Grape.... (rrgh!) Apple! (rrgh!)
Memorable Section:
(during this, he uses his tennis racket to slap the items once right, then left, then selects his option by hitting it from above. He then proceeds to operate it.
Augh! Not that one! Not that one! I want THIS one!! (arrughrurgh!)
Closing:
Augh! elgh! eiieerigh! heeragh! Augh, it's Wednesday, dudes! Augghaugh!!! (runs off)
Alternatives
Stagg Chile predominantly uses plastic cups, but he said in a 2018 interview he likes to alternate to keep people on their toes. His alternatives are;
- Cups (metal, glass, clay)-as used in early days, 2014-2017
- Rubber balls -as used when presenting to more mature audiences, beginning in 2015.
- Fruit (lightweight ones, such as strawberries, grapes, assorted berries, sometimes bananas) -as used in recent years (2016-2019)
- **As used in his most recent work, Stagg appeared on an NBC commercial to smack away polluting items, such as coal and oil to select greener substances. (2021-)
The script is another alternating factor, as Stagg, when performing the routine on TV, with a partner, he uses the partner to communicate with. His live performances, especially in the 2010s and 2020s, have been doing it solo, necessitating the script above. His live performances also make use of the audience chants.
Future
Stagg Chile, during his returning performance in May 2021, stated that he would "upboot" the routine for a more modern approach. He is yet to perform a new version.
