List of Nostalgia Critic episodes (2014)

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Nostalgia Critic (2014)
Country of originUnited States
No. of episodes27
Original networkThat Guy with the Glasses
Original releaseJanuary 7 (2014-01-07) –
December 30, 2014 (2014-12-30)
Season chronology
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The seventh season of Nostalgia Critic began in January 2014 with a month dedicated to Nicolas Cage to celebrate his 50th birthday, by reviewing films that Cage starred in, a month similar to Schwarzenegger month back in 2010.

This year saw Rachel Tietz depart from the main cast due to her decision to move back to California. Tamara Chambers, who had previously appeared in the Catwoman review in 2013, became the new female co-star starting with The Wicker Man review. However, Tietz returned later in the year through a cameo appearance as her recurring character "Evilina" in the Ghost Rider 2 review.


No. in series Title Performed by Directed by Written by Release date
246"Face/Off"Doug Walker, Malcolm Ray
Anthony Sardinha (voice, performs Nicolas Cage impression during intro),
Rachel Tietz (cameo and farewell message)
Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerJanuary 7, 2014 (2014-01-07)

The Critic starts off Nicolas Cage Month by reviewing Face/Off (1997). He criticizes the plot holes, the fact that the film makes the villain more likable than the protagonist, and the usual clichés from both the 90's and director John Woo (including a running gag where the Critic points out several scenes that supposedly could have used Woo's trademark, doves). However, he lends heavy praise to the action, overacting from both Cage and John Travolta (particularly when they are playing each other's roles), and acknowledges that the corniness is what makes the film so fun. Special criticism is reserved for the complete total incompetence of the prison Archer-as-Castor Troy is sent to.

This is the last episode to feature Rachel Tietz, who moved to California for further acting opportunities. Originally, this episode was also supposed to be the introduction of Tamara Chambers as a regular cast member, in a parody of Face/Off, where Tamara swaps her face with Rachel's in order to make another appearance in an episode. The episode ends with The Critic sending Rachel, thinking she is Tamara, to California inside a box and decides to call Tamara, thinking she is Rachel, Tamara, in order to "keep it simple". However, after the original review was filmed, Doug accidentally deleted it off his computer and it could not be re-filmed due to Tietz having already moved to California. This led Doug to write and film an entirely new review.

The new review opens with The Critic who, as he is about to work on Rachel's farewell video, finds out he had accidentally deleted it, due to the footage being in the Christmas specials folder that he had just deleted. He calls Rachel trying to get her to come back to re-film the review but she says since she is now living in California, it is an impossibility. After seeing a farewell video message from Rachel, The Critic and Malcolm come to the realization that they will have to manage doing the Face/Off review by themselves. After the review, Doug comes on and tells the audience that the review wasn't the one they had originally set out to make and that he felt awful for accidentally deleting the original review. Tietz also appears through Skype to give her farewell to the fans. Doug also mentions that there would be a new female co-star for his reviews, later revealed on Facebook to be Tamara, who was Tietz's roommate. Tamara would properly become a cast member in the following review. In 2016, as part of the bonus materials for the Nostalgia Critic compilation DVD The Awesoming, Doug would re-film the original script of the first Face/Off review to re-create the live action portion of the review. Malcolm, Tamara, and Rob Walker reprised their roles from the original script, with Rachel's part played by Barney Walker, Doug and Rob's father.

Real Thoughts: Doug and Rob reveal that they both love Face/Off, considering the movie to be cheesy fun.
247"Wicker Man"Doug Walker, Malcolm Ray, Tamara Chambers
Brad Jones, Noah Antwiler,
Anthony Sardinha (voice),
Rob Walker, Jim Jarosz, Barney Walker, Jim Favia (cameos)
Doug WalkerDoug Walker, Rob Walker & Brad JonesJanuary 21, 2014 (2014-01-21)

The Critic continues Nicolas Cage Month by reviewing The Wicker Man (2006). He considers the film to be hilariously bad, criticizing the overall acting and story, the implied misandry of the island's inhabitants, and the fact that the film relies on poor attempts at scares (including a plethora of obvious foreshadowing) to make up for those flaws, particularly the ongoing scenes of Cage's character having visions of a truck hitting a little girl like in the opening. Special criticism is reserved for the complete incompetence of Cage's character (despite being a police officer) and how he does not seem to realize that something is wrong with the island. However, he does admit to finding a scene where Cage punches a woman out cold while wearing a bear suit unintentionally hilarious.

Throughout the review, the Critic is stalked by Tamara, who keeps referring to the film as her favorite of all time. At the end, she and Malcolm Ray capture the Critic, and force him to talk about the infamous bee torture scene from the film's unrated cut, which he initially refuses to address. The Critic eventually claims that the only reason the scene could be enjoyable is because of Cage's over-the-top performance, which makes the scene much more memorable than possibly any other scene from any of his movies. After stopping Tamara from trying to force The Cinema Snob and Spoony to talk about the scene at a bar, the Critic invites her to work with him, which she accepts.

Channel Awesome Tag: Nicolas Cage as Edward Malus: "How'd it get burned?! How'd it get burned?!"
248"Ghost Rider"Doug Walker, Malcolm Ray, Tamara Chambers
Anthony Sardinha (voice)
Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerFebruary 4, 2014 (2014-02-04)

The Critic concludes Nicolas Cage Month by reviewing Ghost Rider (2007). He feels that the premise has a lot of potential and finds the scenes with Ghost Rider himself to be quite awesome, but is disappointed to find that Cage's performance is a lot more downplayed than usual, feeling that the film would have been better if he had been over the top. He also feels that the potential is ruined by the script, acting (particularly the often incoherent mumbling of Sam Elliott, leading to multiple Big Lebowski references), romance, cartoonish moments (such as the Devil having a demon puppet for a shadow and the heroine using a Magic 8-Ball) and villains. Special criticism is reserved for the ruining of an awesome scene where the two riders journey across the desert by having Elliott leave just before the final battle, claiming that he used the last of his powers in the ride, when he could have saved it for the battle. The Critic ultimately lays the blame for the film solely at the feet of writer-director Mark Steven Johnson, who he says should never have been allowed near another superhero movie after Daredevil (and adds should never have been allowed near that movie either, as he wrote another film that the Critic reviewed and hated).

Real Thoughts: Doug and Rob consider the first film to have a coherent narrative with several cool action scenes, but feel that it's let down in other areas, feeling that the movie acts like a Saturday morning cartoon, and Nicolas Cage's performance not being as over-the-top, despite Cage being a fan of the comic, with Rob believing the film to be a carbon copy of Blade.

Channel Awesome Tag: Nicolas Cage as Johnny Blaze: "What's the matter with you?"
249"Ghost Dad"Doug Walker, Malcolm Ray, Tamara ChambersDoug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerFebruary 18, 2014 (2014-02-18)

The Critic reviews Ghost Dad (1990). Though he admits that the effects are decent for the time it came out, he heavily criticizes the fact that acting legend Sidney Poitier is the director, as well as the acting, especially from Bill Cosby and Ian Bannen, script filled with stereotypes and a ridiculous plot twist, complete lack of realism both in the treatment of the scenario and the way the characters act in general, and feeling that the film's creepier moments fit better in a horror movie. Special criticism is reserved for the rules of the afterlife, which make no sense and feel completely random, as well as being inconsistent and often making the film feel like an "invisible man" story than a ghost story.

The sketches have the Critic pretending to be a ghost, claiming to have committed suicide after watching Ghost Dad, and torments Ray and Chambers by making them dress in various humiliating outfits as revenge for their assault on him during the Wicker Man review.

Channel Awesome Tag: Bill Cosby as Elliot Hopper: “Blippity blippity blippity blippity blippity like a bunny!”
250"Alice in Wonderland"Doug Walker, Malcolm Ray, Tamara Chambers
Rob Walker (cameo)
Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerMarch 11, 2014 (2014-03-11)

The Critic reviews the Tim Burton version of Alice in Wonderland (2010) after following "Carrotjuice the Black Rabbit" (Ray), who has stolen a hard drive of old home movies, into "Burtonland", which he explores with Malice (Chambers). Though he addresses some nice visuals and a bit of zaniness from the source material, he criticizes it for being disloyal to both the story and the spirit of the source material, pointing out the clichéd story, generic characters (particularly Mia Wasikowska as Alice) and content that is too violent for a PG-rated film, such as the main character crossing a moat filled with severed heads. Special criticism is reserved for the world's real name being revealed to be "Underland" instead of "Wonderland", which pretty much makes the film's entire title incorrect, as it is not a remake of the animated film but a live action sequel, even saying that Care Bears in Wonderland was a better adaptation, as it kept the zaniness throughout and the main threat better fit the story.

In the end, after the Critic tells Burton (also played by Doug Walker, who appears as the Wizard of Oz) off for all his bad remakes, saying he has been living in someone else's shadow, Carrotjuice and Malice play the home movies and reveal that the Critic's childhood room is filled with Burton paraphernalia, with work inspired by Burton's films that even the Critic thought were not that great. Burton then convinces the Critic that it is worth sitting through some bad films to get to good films before sending him back to the real world, only for the Critic to forget what he learnt once it is announced that Burton has cancelled his current project Big Eyes in favor of directing a film adaptation of Adventure Time, starring Helena Bonham Carter and Johnny Depp as Finn and Jake respectively.

Real Thoughts: Doug and Rob both admit to really hate the movie because of its disloyal story, with Doug hating it more than Rob as the latter admitted to have forgotten the entire movie after watching it until he re-watched the film.

Channel Awesome Tag: Crispin Glover as Ilosovic Stayne, the Knave of Hearts: "I like largeness."
251"Disney Afternoon"Doug Walker, Malcolm Ray, Tamara Chambers
Lewis Lovhaug, Rob Walker, Doug and Malcolm's mothers (cameos)
Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerMarch 25, 2014 (2014-03-25)

The Critic, along with Malcolm and Tamara, looks back on The Disney Afternoon (1990-1997), imitating what it was like to come home from school and watch it. He finds most of the shows to be great nostalgic classics, some more than others, but finds Bonkers, Shnookums and Meat, Quack Pack, and Mighty Ducks to be terrible. During the review, comments made by Malcolm that anger the Critic result in him beating him up. The review ends with them being "forced to do their homework" by the Critic and Malcolm's mothers and Linkara pretending to be Tamara's grandmother.
Shows looked at include:

  • Gummi Bears (1985-91)
    • He praises the show's theme song, animation, stories, villain and voice acting.
  • DuckTales (1987-90)
    • Having mentioned the show in previous episodes, he praises the animation, stories, catchy theme song and timeless characters despite mentioning that the names were forgettable.
  • Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers (1989-90)
    • He praises the show for its main characters, adventures and morals. Special mention is given to the episode "Case of the Cola Cult".
  • TaleSpin (1990-91)
    • He praises the show's humor, adventures and the characters of Rebecca Cunningham and Don Karnage, but dislikes the character of Molly Cunningham. He questions why The Jungle Book gets its own show and why only three of the characters (Baloo, Louie and Shere Khan) are on the show. (Incidentally, The Jungle Book did get its own show proper in 1996.)
  • Darkwing Duck (1991-92)
    • He praises the character of Gosalyn Mallard as the most energetic child character in a Disney show, some of the villains, the satire of other super hero related stuff and Darkwing Duck himself as the first Disney character to be an egotistical hero.
  • Goof Troop (1992-93)
    • He has mixed feelings towards this show, feeling it's trying to have Disney be more hip and modern with its audience. He also finds the character Max not all that interesting and the adventures in suburbia not fun. However, he finds Pete and his family more funny and wishes the show was more about them.
  • Bonkers (1993-95)
    • He criticizes the annoying main character, the Disney characters not getting enough cameos, unfunny humor and the show's premise for ripping off Who Framed Roger Rabbit, while stating that the idea of cartoon characters in the real world doesn't work due to the show being completely animated. Special criticism is given to an episode that features Mickey Mouse in a pet carrier, never being seen, with only his voice being heard the entire episode, which makes The Critic raise the question "What is the purpose of having Mickey Mouse on your show if you're never going to show him?"
  • Gargoyles (1994-97)
    • He previously did a full episode dedicated to the show. He praises the dark original story, characters, animation and feels it is a good mature Disney show.
  • Aladdin (1994-96)
    • While praising the idea of the show, its stories and new characters, he criticizes the poor animation, continuity errors with the movie, Aladdin and Jasmine's bland relationship, Dan Castellaneta's poor attempts to re-create Robin Williams' performance as the Genie (but acknowledges his effort) and an overuse of Iago on the show.
  • Timon & Pumbaa (1995-99)
    • He finds the show has decent pacing, okay animation, fun stories and even finds Timon and Pumbaa more funny here than in The Lion King.
  • Shnookums and Meat (1995)
    • He pans the show for ripping off Ren and Stimpy, the animation for being too clean and finds the main characters to be more annoying than Bonkers. Though while Shnookums and Meat is actually three cartoons in one, he gives no mention of the other two segments "Pith Possum" and "Tex Tinstar".
  • Quack Pack (1996)
    • He criticizes the characters of Huey, Dewey, and Louie, the theme song's lyrics, scripts, stories and what the show stands for.
  • Mighty Ducks (1996-97)
    • He finds this show to be what killed The Disney Afternoon. He criticizes the show for having nothing to do with the movie series it is based on despite it having the title and sport they play, the story and main characters. However, he praises the casting of Tim Curry and Tony Jay as the villains and the idea of putting them together on the show. However, The Critic does not mention that at the time of the production of the animated series, Disney did own the NHL hockey team named The Mighty Ducks of Anaheim (The ducks in the series wore the uniform of the real life hockey team), and that the leader, Wildwing Flashblade, was the mascot of the hockey team. Disney owned The Mighty Ducks team from 1993 until 2006.

Note: During the commentary of the review, Doug explained he was too harsh on Goof Troop and in fact likes the show. He also addressed why he didn't include shows like Hercules or The Little Mermaid.

Real Thoughts: Doug and Rob consider the episode as one of their favorites to film as well as review. They admit that watching the first shows was fun but watching the last ones was painful; both considering Quack Pack the worst.

Channel Awesome Tag: Linkara as Tamara's grandmother: "Ducks rock!"

252"Foodfight!"Doug Walker, Malcolm Ray, Tamara ChambersDoug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerApril 8, 2014 (2014-04-08)

After a parody of Batman Returns, where like Catwoman the Critic returns home in a daze and goes on a violent rampage on his house's objects, it is revealed that rage was caused by the Critic accepting to review Foodfight! (2012) following incessant requests by his fanbase. Agreeing to do so upon realizing that his review could jumpstart it into popularity, he declares it to be not only the worst animated movie he has ever seen, but also one of the worst movies he's ever reviewed, heavily panning the massive amount of product placement, ridiculous and inconsistent plot, horrible and often frightening animation that enters the uncanny valley, hideous racial stereotypes, dreadful puns and horrible sexual innuendos, the latter of which he deems unfit for what is supposedly a film for children. Special criticism is reserved for the fact that the product mascots shown are practically background characters in their own film (despite taking up a good chunk of the advertising) and half of them are bitter, unflattering parodies of the ones the producers could not afford, as well as the fact that the film's budget was apparently $65 million, which baffles him considering the outcome, and how they wasted it on the final product.

Channel Awesome Tag: Christopher Lloyd as Mr. Clipboard: "Survival of the fittest, Leonard."
253"The Swan Princess"Doug Walker, Malcolm Ray, Tamara ChambersDoug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerApril 22, 2014 (2014-04-22)

The Critic reviews The Swan Princess (1994), another frequent fan request. He calls the film "Diet Disney" and thinks that Enchanted satirized this film, as it rips off elements from many of their films, especially Sleeping Beauty, The Little Mermaid, and Beauty and the Beast. He also criticizes the plot and romance, the main characters for becoming bland and generic despite the wide range of emotion their childhood selves expressed in the opening, leading the majority of the songs to be sung by supporting and background characters, certain weird casting decisions (particularly Steven Wright as the optimistic Speed), the comedy, and the animation for being too fast paced and energetic for a romance. However, he does give some praise to the opening song "This Is My Idea" for being somewhat entertaining, and the mercifully short running time. Special criticism is reserved for Rothbart's scheme for making no sense whatsoever, as well as the strange name he has.

At the end, he talks to Chambers and Ray about other "diet" animation brands, such as "Diet DreamWorks" (i.e. Hoodwinked, The Nut Job and all the Ice Age and Rio sequels), "Diet Pixar" (i.e. Cars 2 and Monsters University) and "Seuss Zero". The latter drink's description foreshadows the next review, after being described as being orange and having none of Dr. Seuss' creative genius.

Channel Awesome Tag: Howard McGillin as Derek: "Would you feed this to a swan?"
254"The Lorax"Doug Walker, Malcolm Ray, Tamara Chambers
Rob Walker, Jim Jarosz, Rob Scallon,
Jason Laws, Jori Laws, Briana Laws (cameos)
Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerMay 6, 2014 (2014-05-06)

The Critic reviews The Lorax (2012) while breaking into the headquarters of the analyists (Rob and Ray) from the Cat in the Hat review, lecturing them on the mistakes made by the film. Though he admits it is not as bad as The Grinch or The Cat in the Hat and praises the animation and a touching moment in which the Lorax and the animals mourn the loss of a tree, he criticizes the complete lack of loyalty to the story, spirit and message of the original book, generic characters (particularly the villain), poor voice casting (particularly Zac Efron and Taylor Swift as 12-year-olds), dated pop culture references, and the songs (particularly because only one mentions the environmental message, and the others go in the opposite direction). Special criticism is reserved for the ending for taking away the ambiguity of the book and replacing it with a stock, clichéd climax, conclusion and in-your-face message, which ironically makes it less memorable.

By the review's end, the experts predict that the film has become retro and that all of its fans have returned, only to find the Lorax Mall empty except for one man, who quickly loses interest himself and walks off. When the Critic lambasts their simplification of the story and declares that people will continue to read Seuss's books no matter what, one of the experts reveals himself to be "Black Willy Wonka." He shows the Critic that the fans have gone back to reading the book, and that that was his plan in making this, along with The Grinch and The Cat in the Hat: to make audiences appreciate the books more.

Real Thoughts: Doug and Rob both consider The Lorax the best Dr. Seuss movie they reviewed and admit they both liked Danny DeVito and Betty White in the movie, but both thought the movie was still bad though harmless. They also stated that they would not review Horton Hears a Who! as Doug stated that while he thought it was bad, it wasn't bad enough to do a review. However, he would eventually do it anyway in 2018.

Channel Awesome Tag: Ed Helms as the Once-ler: (rapping) “I'm just sayin'!”
255"Old vs. New - Spider-Man"Doug Walker, Malcolm Ray, Tamara Chambers
Lewis Lovhaug, Brian Heinz (cameos)
Doug WalkerDoug WalkerMay 20, 2014 (2014-05-20)

The Critic revives his "Old vs. New" segment, comparing Sam Raimi's Spider-Man Trilogy to Marc Webb's The Amazing Spider-Man films alongside a hyperactive fangirl (Chambers) who fell in love with him in his review for The Lorax. He starts the comparison by discussing the stories, like he did with his "Old vs. New" of the Nutty Professor films.

Best Story: The Raimi trilogy
He decides that the Raimi trilogy's stories were easier to follow when compared to the very complex stories of the Webb films.

Best Action Scenes: The Webb films
He praises the faster and more realistic action scenes of the new series; whilst stating that the settings weren't spectacular, the choreography and pace was superior to the "underwhelming" action of the original series despite their superior setting. He also adds on how the unspectacular settings seemed to make him get invested more into the action. Other points in finding the new series to be better in terms of action was what he felt was "the best Stan Lee cameo ever", better slow motion scenes, (the originals just repeating the same scenes slowed down, where the new films use it to show a complex situation going on that Spider-Man has to solve in a short amount of time), and the sequences of Spider-Man swinging around are better handled, as he could really feel like he's swinging around with him, as opposed to the originals, which he felt like was something out of a "video game." However, he also admits to liking the train sequence of Spider-Man 2.

Best Villains: The Raimi Trilogy
While he criticizes the over-the-top performance of Willem Dafoe as the Green Goblin, and Topher Grace's lack of screen time as Venom, and praises the development of the Lizard and Harry Osborn of the Webb films, he decides that the Raimi villains are more memorable and enjoyable because of their cartoonish nature, and that over-the-top villains like the Rhino and Electro feel out of place with the serious tone of the Webb films.

Best Romantic Lead: Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy (The Webb films)
He directly states that "Mary Jane sucks", and even though he admits that Kirsten Dunst tried doing the best with her performance and that she was written better in the third movie, he criticizes the writing of the character in the previous two films and her relationship with the hero, as well as her "dumbass in distress" status (despite being written much better in other Spider-Man media). He heavily praises Emma Stone's performance as Gwen, finding her to be the opposite of Mary Jane and superior in every way, giving special praise to her romance with Peter, which is what he says is the best part of the second Webb film. He also adds that if Mary Jane did die in the first film, he wouldn't care like he did for Gwen's death.

Best Spider-Man: Andrew Garfield (The Webb films)
He states that between both actors there is a perfect Spider-Man. While he praises the nerdy aspect of Tobey Maguire in the first Raimi film, he criticizes the rest of his performance, calling him too whiny and sensitive to everything. He heavily praises Andrew Garfield's performance on the other hand through his energy, likable nature and has the cool aspect that Spider-Man should have, though criticizes his cockiness and pointing out more lives were at risk because of Garfield's Spider-Man making jokes to villains he was trying to stop. He also brings up that Garfield portrayed a Spider-Man that fans would want to be like (being that he quit when his girlfriend died as opposed to Maguire's where the job was just too hard).

The Webb series beats the Raimi trilogy 3-2. The Critic finds both series to be enjoyable, but leans towards the Webb series when he at first considered the reboot miles above the Raimi Trilogy and Hyper Fan Girl visa versa, but realized how close the two film series' were. Hyper Fan Girl is upset at being in the friend zone with the Critic, but is encouraged by Linkara (disguised as her grandma) to go after him.

Channel Awesome Tag: Tobey Maguire as Peter Parker (from Spider-Man): "I hunch."
256"Blues Brothers 2000"Doug Walker, Malcolm Ray, Tamara Chambers
Rob Walker, Brad Jones, Dayna Munday (cameos)
Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerJune 3, 2014 (2014-06-03)

The Critic reviews Blues Brothers 2000 (1998). Though he praises the soundtrack, he considers the film to be a major disappointment as one of the worst sequels of all time (also one of the worst movies he has ever reviewed), heavily panning its disloyalty to the original film, lack of story, random musical numbers, over-the-top scenes, abysmal comedy, cheap special effects, all-over-the-place editing, the miscast John Goodman and J. Evan Bonifant, and ending. Special criticism is reserved for the randomness in the film, compared to Cards Against Humanity and the SNES video game.

Note: The Critic later ranked Blues Brothers 2000 #7 on his Top 11 Worst Sequels list.

Channel Awesome Tag: John Belushi as “Joliet” Jake Blues (from the 1st movie): “Bullshit.”
257"Jurassic Park III"Doug Walker, Malcolm Ray, Tamara Chambers
Rob Walker (cameo)
Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerJune 17, 2014 (2014-06-17)

The Critic reviews the long-requested Jurassic Park III (2001). While calling it a bad movie, he personally considers it slightly better than the previous sequel for being shorter and less pretentious. He criticizes the characters, particularly the one played by Téa Leoni, lack of wonder and effort in the storytelling, character development and attempts at scares, and the ending to Alan and Ellie's relationship. Special criticism is reserved for the Spinosaurus killing off the T-Rex, the main dinosaur of the franchise.

Real Thoughts: Both Doug and Rob admit that they gave up hope thinking that the movie was going to be good and admit that Téa Leoni's performance was one of the worst parts about the movie with Rob considering her as bad as Kate Capshaw in Temple of Doom and also find William H. Macy totally wasted.

Channel Awesome Tag: Téa Leoni as Amanda Kirby: “Eric?”
258"After Earth"Doug Walker, Malcolm Ray, Tamara Chambers
Rob Walker, Gideon Ray Jr. (cameos)
Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerJuly 1, 2014 (2014-07-01)

The Critic reviews After Earth (2013). He feels that it had potential if the film had the right script or performance by Jaden Smith, but neither were accomplished. He criticizes the performances of Jaden and Will Smith, the clichéd and often unexplained elements of the setting, and the usual M. Night Shyamalan trademarks of plot, dialogue, directing, ideas, and pacing. Special criticism is reserved for the name of Will's character, Cypher Raige (which the Critic finds unintentionally hilarious), and for a weird scene where Jaden seems to know what his dad tells him despite having no communication.

Channel Awesome Tag: Jaden Smith as Kitai Raige: "No, Dad!"
259"BloodRayne"Doug Walker, Lewis Lovhaug, Noah Antwiler,
Malcolm Ray, Tamara Chambers, Brad Jones
Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob Walker
Lewis Lovhaug & Noah Antwiler
July 15, 2014 (2014-07-15)

The Critic, Linkara, and Spoony reunite to review another Uwe Boll film, BloodRayne (2006). They heavily pan the plot holes, complete lack of cohesion, boring characters, awful acting (particularly the utterly emotionless and seemingly drunken performance of Michael Madsen), abysmal directing and production design, insulting portrayal of vampires on par with Twilight, and lack of loyalty to the video game it's based on, all expected from Boll. Special criticism is reserved for the appearance and over the top delivery by rock legend Meat Loaf.

Channel Awesome Tag: Michael Madsen as Vladimir: "My companion seems to be missing. I do not know what has become of him!"
260"The Purge"Doug Walker, Malcolm Ray, Tamara Chambers,
Mathew Buck, Rob Paulsen, Maurice LaMarche
Jim Jarosz (cameo)
Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerJuly 29, 2014 (2014-07-29)

After finding Malcolm and Tamara in fear over an apparent new law breaking up Pinky and the Brain, the Critic explains why such a law would not work by reviewing The Purge (2013). He feels that the film had potential if it tried to be a dark satire, but fails because it takes its ridiculous premise too seriously. He also criticizes the film's poor attempt at explaining why the titular law works, Michael Bay's involvement with the film as one of the producers, the lack of logic shown by the characters, weak suspense, and large amount of pretension and clichés. However, he praises Rhys Wakefield's entertainingly over-the-top performance as the "Polite Leader", though he erroneously calls the character "Henry", who is a different character in the film.

During the review, the Film Brain (in a parody of the Polite Leader) shows up demanding a crossover review. Not wanting to do two in a row, the Critic has the others distract him long enough to finish, with news of the aforementioned break up sending Film Brain away. He then has Rob Paulsen and Maurice LaMarche act out the break up, which apparently brings world peace.

Real Thoughts: Doug and Rob consider the movie unintentionally funny as they feel it fails miserably for trying to be a serious drama. Both also consider Wakefield's performance as the best element of the film.

Channel Awesome Tag: Ethan Hawke as James Sandin: "Because it works."
261"Small Soldiers"Doug Walker, Malcolm Ray, Tamara Chambers
Jim Jarosz (cameo)
Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerAugust 12, 2014 (2014-08-12)

The Critic reviews Small Soldiers (1998). While not considering it awful, he calls it confusing, as it doesn't seem to know whether it wants to be an action packed kids' movie or an edgy adult action film. He criticizes the plethora of clichés from the films of director Joe Dante (even keeping a checklist), as well as normal screenwriting clichés, elements ripped off from both Toy Story and Dante's own Gremlins, characters, confusing story element of the clearly benevolent Gorgonites being portrayed by the toy company as the villains and the obviously dangerous Commandos as the heroes, and scenes too inappropriate for kids. Special criticism is reserved for a disturbing and frightening scene involving fictional Barbie knockoffs and for the fact that the main villain survives an impossible-to-survive crash leading to an extra 30 minutes of the movie.

After the review, he goes to bed, unaware that Hyper Fan Girl (Chambers) is watching him and holding the subject of his next review, The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement.

Note: Doug had originally considered the film for the original Nostalgia Critic finale in 2012 following a fan poll, but scrapped it in favor of Scooby-Doo, claiming the film didn't have enough material for a review, an opinion he clearly changed his mind on.

Channel Awesome Tag: Sarah Michelle Gellar/Christina Ricci as a Gwendy doll: "You've been a bad boy!"
262"Princess Diaries 2"Doug Walker, Malcolm Ray, Tamara ChambersDoug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerAugust 26, 2014 (2014-08-26)

The Critic is "invited" by Hyper Fan Girl (Chambers) to come to her house, filled with manly films, comics, and video games, and reviews The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement (2004) with her, while under the vigilance of a hired hitman (Ray). The trio agree that the first film was relatively harmless and that Royal Engagement is not really terrible per se, but make fun of the plot, girly cliches, obvious villains, and that Anne Hathaway's character is hardly ever taught any responsibilities of being a princess in the film. Special criticism is reserved for a scene in which the maids sing "Frère Jacques" while dancing with pots in a desperate attempt at comedy, and an unnecessary cameo by Stan Lee. After the movie ends, the Critic realizes that Hyper Fan Girl was just really manipulating his inner manchild, like the movie manipulates the inner womanchild of its audience.

NOTE: Doug reviewed this film during Disneycember, and found it to be "so bad it's good" and good enough for a Nostalgia Critic review.

Channel Awesome Tag: Maids: (singing) "Ding, dang, dong! Ding, dang, dong!"
263"Ghost Rider 2"Doug Walker, Mike Jeavons, Malcolm Ray, Tamara Chambers
Rachel Tietz, Joe Vargas, Jim Jarosz, Mathew Buck (cameos)
Doug WalkerDoug Walker, Rob Walker & Mike JeavonsSeptember 9, 2014 (2014-09-09)

After multiple requests following his review of the original, the Critic reviews Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2012), this time, joined by Mike J of Shameful Sequels, who is angry at the Critic for repeated episodes on films he already reviewed, such as Jaws 3D and Alien Resurrection. While they admit that the Ghost Rider's design is slightly cooler, Nicolas Cage's performance is more over-the-top and enjoyable, and the action is better, they feel it has even more problems than the first, criticizing the nonsensical plot, side characters (who the Critic adds are blatantly copied from screenwriter David S. Goyer's previous films), cinematography and fast-forward editing, weird dialogue, lack of screen time for Ghost Rider, and numerous bizarre moments. Special criticism is reserved for the Devil's multiple choices and actions throughout the film, such as having a weird ringtone for his cell-phone, losing track of his son, and trying to escape from Ghost Rider by just driving away in an ordinary car.

Real Thoughts: Doug and Rob consider the second film even worse than the first film, considering the story pretty bad and mindless and criticizing David S. Goyer's involvement (whom Doug and Rob hate), but admit the action scenes were slightly better and Nicolas Cage's performance was more over-the-top. They are torn, however, over which Ghost Rider film is worse or better, thinking that both of them are equally bad.

Channel Awesome Tag: Nicolas Cage as Johnny Blaze: "You're the devil's baby mama."
264"The Top 11 WORST Episodes of Avatar The Last Airbender"Doug Walker, Malcolm Ray, Tamara Chambers, Rob Walker, Dante Basco (cameo)Doug WalkerDoug WalkerSeptember 16, 2014 (2014-09-16)

The Critic counts down what he considers to be the 11 worst (weakest) episodes of his favorite show: Avatar: The Last Airbender.

11. The Boiling Rock, Part 1 (He feels the two-parter should have been one part, with the first failed escape attempt removed. He does praise the second part, and gives some praise to the episode's premise, character development, and action scenes)
10. The Serpent's Pass (He finds the plot and the emotions within to be forced)
9. Jet (He finds the title character not interesting enough to carry the episode. Despite that, he lends heavy praise to the moral of the episode)
8. The Cave of Two Lovers (He's annoyed that the episode is like a cheap romantic comedy, complete with cliches, but gives it credit that this is the only episode in the show to do that)
7. The Waterbending Master (He feels the story about Katara proving her worth as a woman unnecessary, as she's already done so, but commends her character development and the animation on the fight sequence)
6. Sokka's Master (Like the previous entry, he feels that Sokka does not need to prove his worth as he already has as the team's strategist)
5. The Swamp (He finds the setting too dreary and feels that the episode as a whole is almost pointless, but does commend the moral, feeling it's a unique one)
4. The Painted Lady (He feels the environmental message is unneeded, as there already is a subtle one hidden in the show's story)
3. The Headband (He finds it ridiculous that the second episode of Season Three, in an attempt to lighten the mood, decides to parody, of all things, Footloose)
2. Bato of the Water Tribe (He finds Aang's actions in the episode to be completely out of character. Despite that, he does praise the character of June the bounty hunter, the action sequences, and the overall message, saying that despite this being one of his least-favorite episodes, there is still some good stuff watching it again)
1. The Great Divide (He finds the plot forced and pointless, does not like that most of it is just bickering, and finds the ending, where Aang lies to end the conflict, again out of character)

Note: The episode ends on a cliffhanger (parodying the Legend of Korra episode "Turning the Tides") which announces that the next episode will cover his top 11 favorite episodes, with a special appearance by Dante Basco, the voice actor for Prince Zuko.
265"The Top 11 BEST Episodes of Avatar The Last Airbender"Doug Walker, Malcolm Ray, Tamara Chambers, Dante Basco
Jason Laws (cameo)
Doug WalkerDoug WalkerSeptember 23, 2014 (2014-09-23)

As promised in the previous episode, the Critic goes over his favorite episodes of his favorite show of all time, Avatar: The Last Airbender (2005-08). However, this time, Dante Basco, the voice of Prince Zuko, is after the Critic, and looking to make him pay for his worst episodes list.
Throughout the review, Basco tries to kill the Critic as Zuko, leading in a massive chase through a local Barnes & Nobles bookstore, in which he finds out what happens to Zuko's mother, and is ultimately stopped by the Critic and joins him to talk about the best Avatar episode of all time. Afterwards, he changes his uniform from Zuko to the American Dragon: Jake Long, where he voiced the title character, much to the Critic's shock and Tamara's displeasure.

11. "The Ember Island Players"

  • He almost put it on the "Worst Episodes" list, but ultimately feels that, as far as series recaps go, it is one of the strongest.
  • Note: In a commentary for this episode, Doug admitted that had he known that this joke was already made and upon second thoughts he would have switched this episode with Tales of Ba Sing Se, specially for The Tale of Iroh.

10. "The Chase"

  • He heavily praises the action, ruthlessness of the character of Azula and the depiction of the difficulties the characters go through.

9. "The Firebending Masters"

  • He heavily praises the hero's journey Aang and Zuko go through, particularly the ending with the dragons.

8. "The Day of Black Sun"

  • He considers it one of the best two-part episodes ever, heavily praising the turmoil the characters suffer, the villains' cruel nature, the tragic ending and the twist of Zuko joining the team.

7. "Zuko Alone"

  • He praises the flashbacks to Zuko's past and the relationship between him and Lee, and the ending for successfully making the audience feel bad for a villain.

6. "The Puppetmaster"

  • He considers it a chilling episode, heavily praising Tress MacNeille's performance and the depiction and animation of Bloodbending.

5. "The Guru"

  • He considers it a great build up to the Season 2 finale, comparing it to The Empire Strikes Back and feeling that the build up and the fact that only Toph's story is resolved gets everyone hyped for what happens next.

4. "The Southern Raiders"

  • He praises Katara's emotional journey and Mae Whitman's performance, the bittersweet conclusion, and the fact that she gets so obsessed that she Bloodbends at one point.

3. "The Crossroads of Destiny"

  • He considers it a strong season finale, further emphasizing the similarities to Empire as it leaves the heroes in their worst position in the show and leaves you wondering what will happen in the next season. He also makes another note on what a great villain Azula is.

2. "The Storm"

  • The only Season 1 episode on the list, he heavily praises the backstories of Aang and Zuko and the parallel created between them, considering the look they share at the end to be very profound.

1. "Sozin's Comet"

  • Along with a much calmer Dante, they consider it a solid series finale that a show like this deserves, as it wraps up all the major plot lines, makes strong use of all the characters, and is a perfectly exciting and satisfying note to end the series on. They also defend against some of the criticisms from this episode, such as Katara being the one to beat Azula, and the way Aang beats Ozai with their own opinions.

Channel Awesome Tag: Dante Basco: "You man! You stupid, stupid man!"

266"Maximum Overdrive"Doug Walker, Malcolm Ray
Jon Jafari (cameo)
Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerOctober 7, 2014 (2014-10-07)

After a short intro of him being killed by JonTron for reviewing Foodfight, which he himself had reviewed first, the Critic starts off a new Nostalgia-Ween by reviewing the only Stephen King movie directed by the man himself, Maximum Overdrive (1986). He praises the AC/DC soundtrack, but also criticizes the writing, over the top acting (particularly Yeardley Smith's annoying performance), ridiculous death scenes, inconsistent explanation of the cause of the events, lack of scares, and usual cliches of King's films, even discussing them with Pencilhead (Ray), leader of the "Troperaisers." He also feels there is no excuse for the poor quality this time since King made it personally. However, he feels that the silliness of the film is ultimately what makes it so fun, and says that if approached as an over-the-top B-Movie (which he suspects King himself did), it's actually very entertaining.

Note: Tamara was absent from this episode due to illness, though she is still listed in the end credits.

Channel Awesome Tag: Ellen McElduff as Wanda June: "WE MADE YOU!"
267"Monster Squad"Doug Walker, Malcolm Ray, Tamara Chambers
Jim Jarosz, Jason Laws, Rob Walker (cameos)
Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerOctober 21, 2014 (2014-10-21)

After ending the previous week's editorial on a cliffhanger by announcing that he'll review the number one greatest modern horror classic in full, the Critic puts together his own crew of cliched characters known as the "Token Troop" to review Monster Squad (1987) with him, Malcolm, Jim, Rob and Jason playing their respective cliched characters. Though they criticize the nonsensical plot, cliched characters (including one literally just called "Fat Kid"), and content that's too violent, vulgar, and dirty for a children's film, they consider it the movie that perfectly defines the 80's and the ultimate movie to watch for anyone wanting to relive the decade. Special criticism is reserved for the scene where one of the characters asks someone if they've seen a virgin, causing the Critic to create the scene into a Pepsi commercial (a nod to Madonna's "Like a Prayer"). During the review, Tamara tries to get into the troop, but fails as it's boys only (and keeping up with the theme of the 80's). Eventually, the troop runs into their worst enemy, a monster covered in stuff from reality, the presence of which makes them doubt and criticize the movie. However, Tamara manages to destroy the monster with YouTube comments, snapping them out of it and allowing them to give it praise once again.

Real Thoughts:

Channel Awesome Tag: Ashley Bank as Phoebe "Phoebe the Feeb" Crenshaw: "Come on! Don't be chicken shits!"
268"Rise of the Commercials"
"The Quickening"
Doug Walker, Malcolm Ray, Tamara Chambers
Jim Jarosz (cameo)
Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerNovember 4, 2014 (2014-11-04)

The Critic looks over even more commercials after the success of "Dawn of the Commercials" last year.

Commercials Reviewed: Skip-It, The Incredible Crash Dummies, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Sports, Cars, Safari, and Wild West action figures, HBO Feature Presentation bumper (1983-1997), Lalaloopsy Diaper Surprise, Polly Pocket, Mighty Max, Creepy Crawlers super oven, Easy-Bake Oven, Campbell's Soup "Snowman", Sunny Delight, LaserTag Rocky, LaserPro 9000, "Why Douche?" and Summer's Eve Douches, Mentos "The Freshmaker" campaign, Nintendo Entertainment System Australian promo: "You Cannot Beat Us", Apple Computer's Macintosh "1984" commercial, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cookies, Star Wars: The Arcade Game for the Atari 2600, Honeycombs Cereal, and Concerned Children's Advertisers' "Don't You Put it in Your Mouth" PSA.

Channel Awesome Tag: Rocky: "Han!!!"

Han: "Rookie."
269"Forest Warrior"Doug Walker, Mathew Buck, Malcolm Ray, Tamara Chambers
Jim Jarosz (cameo)
Doug WalkerDoug Walker, Rob Walker, & Mathew BuckNovember 18, 2014 (2014-11-18)

The Critic and Film Brain finally do a crossover by reviewing Forest Warrior (1996). They criticize the nonsensical plot, lack of screen time for star Chuck Norris and transformation scenes (despite him being a shape shifter, he transforms off screen), fight choreography, heavy handed environmental message, generic characters and soundtrack, and pacing. Special criticism is reserved for the spectacularly cliched villain, especially during a scene where the villain remembers that he used to play at a treehouse when he was a kid and thought it was magical and wonderful, but then, in a millisecond, says, "Let's get rid of the damn thing". However, they consider it entertaining in its cheesiness and consider the one transformation scene at the end to be great.

Channel Awesome Tag: Terry Kiser as Travis Thorne: “WHOA-OOH!”
270"Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer"Doug Walker, Malcolm Ray, Tamara Chambers
Rob Scallion (cameo)
Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerDecember 3, 2014 (2014-12-03)

The Critic starts off the holiday season by reviewing the television special Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer (2000). Already finding the song the movie's based on to be obnoxious, he criticizes it for making the titular grandma too attractive, as well as the plot, confusing setting, characters, poor and sometimes dirty humor (particularly some really weird names), awful segues into badly written songs, and the final act for using too many courtroom terms. He does admit that it isn't an entirely horrible movie, more incredibly awkward and admits that the film is worth seeing. Special criticism is reserved for the fact that the grandma's store is worth millions, which makes both her and the grandson seem awful, as they don't want to sell it, despite the money undoubtedly being capable of helping many.

Unlike previous years, he starts out calm as he's wearing a "chill pill patch" and doesn't want to scare his fans. However, Tamara, insisting that he should feel free to celebrate how he pleases, removes the patch, causing a now-insane Critic to sing a heavy metal song, "I F***ing Love Christmas".

Channel Awesome Tag: Kathleen Barr as Female Cop: “Better get looking for the old broad.”
271"A Christmas Story 2"Doug Walker, Malcolm Ray, Tamara Chambers
Jeremy Scott, Rob Walker, Mike J (cameos)
Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerDecember 16, 2014 (2014-12-16)

The Critic reviews A Christmas Story 2 (2012). He considers it a completely pointless sequel to an already over-commercialized film, and heavily pans the awful writing, abundance of unnecessary narration, lack of dialogue for the main character and love interest, poor comedy and visuals, easily unlikable characters (particularly Daniel Stern as the old man), the main character's perverted actions, and large amount of fantasy sequences and throwbacks to the original. Despite this, he does give credit for Braeden Lemasters' performance as Ralphie, explaining that he captured the spirit of the original Ralphie and makes it his own as well as the film trying to capture the look of the original. Special criticism is reserved for the mall sequence where the main character and his best friends work and are given too many chances despite making many mistakes worth firing over.

The sketches in-between the review have the Critic being pestered by Hyper Fan Girl (Chambers) and Benny the hitman (Ray) as they try to remind him of all the good things about the original. Their efforts only make the Critic angrier and causes him to tell off and berate Hyper, breaking her heart. Soon regretting his outburst, the Critic gets Santa Christ (Rob) to travel him back in time before he did the review, and he invites Hyper to watch and review the movie with him.

NOTE: The episode opens up with a crossover with CinemaSins in one of their segments called "Movie Recipes" trying to make Christmas Story 2 eggnog. The Critic as well helped with their video, Everything Wrong with How the Grinch Stole Christmas, where they did the whole video in rhyme.

Channel Awesome Tag: Gerard Plunkett as Hank Catenhauser: "I wish I wasn't such a softie."
272"Care Bears Nutcracker"Doug Walker, Malcolm Ray, Tamara ChambersDoug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerDecember 30, 2014 (2014-12-30)

The Critic finishes the year by reviewing Care Bears Nutcracker Suite (1988). He considers it no better or worse than any of the other films, criticizing the poor writing, weak animation, rehashed character designs from the previous movies (particularly the heroine looking exactly like the ones from the previous films), over the top voice acting, lack of connection to the titular ballet (even using music from it at random) and confusing ending. Special criticism is reserved for the plot twist as being far too obvious, and the fact that the telling of the main story is obviously a huge waste of everybody in the framing story's time. After the review, he announces that January will be "Matrix Month", where he'll review, editorial free, all three movies and The Animatrix.

Note: Doug previously put the film on his "Top 11 Nostalgia Critics I Will Never Do" list, but decided to review it anyway.

Real Thoughts:

Channel Awesome Tag: Don Francks as the Evil Vizier: “I won, as I knew I would!”


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