Pakikisama

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Definition and History

The term pakikisama consists of two main root words, paki and sama. The prefix paki, in Filipino, is used to say “please”, while sama is derived from the word kasama, which translates to a companion or to go together with. In a literal sense the term pakikisama conveys either messages “Please go with me” or “Please get along with me”. (Domingo & Paz, n.d) Furthermore, its most rudimentary interpretation can pertain to camaraderie or the act of “going along”. The term has widely grown to define the cultural trait of being person-oriented amongst Filipinos, and has taken on different meanings, both positive and negative, depending on the social context at hand. The trait is not so much the ability of the Filipino to “go along” with their peers, as it is the conscious effort to, be it by searching for points of agreement despite conflicting perspectives or backgrounds. In the Philippines, the average Filipino milieu may involve a family life that possesses multiple facets (as Filipinos tend to live with or in close proximity to their extended family) and varying involvement in religious communities. Filipinos may feel a social responsibility to contribute to this community—to return or pass on the support that was given to them.

At present, the virtue of pakikisama, initially perceived as an intrinsic trait, is viewed as the pragmatic option for most Filipinos, especially those at the middle or lower end of the socioeconomic ladder. Filipinos seeking to achieve a much more fluid social mobility may look to other Filipinos for resources, information, and network. Here, pakikisama manifests itself as a collective trait for survival. (Visa, n.d.)

Pakikisama in Different Contexts

Household

Close Familial Ties

Pakikisama is learned within the family in 2 levels. The first level pertains to the family being the initial sector where pakikisama is learned from parents. Although there isn't a specific moment wherein the parents would explicitly explain the concept to their children, they [the children] pick it up from their parents’ demeanor and actions. Through seeing how their parents use "diplomatic skills" when dealing with different circumstances to avoid conflicts [pakikibaka] they gradually learn how to use said "diplomatic skills" for themselves in different situations they encounter. The second level is learning pakikisama as a way to be in and stay in good relations with the members of the family. In light of the filipino culture of living with extended families, pakikisama aims to make everyone live harmoniously with each other. In some instances, when we visit relatives and stay in their houses, they treat us well and take good care of us. In return, we do not pay them but rather we do acts that show our gratitude and appreciation towards them as well as showing that we are not difficult to live with. In relation to the previous point, generally, many Filipinos have close ties with their extended families namely, grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles, etc. They are usually also present in events that are considered important for their family such as baptisms, for Filipinos who are Catholic, marriage, and other religious or national holidays.Which can also be regarded as a way of pakikisama through the act of being present in each others' "momentous occasions" and avoiding the possibility of hurting one’s feelings.

Role of Food in Practicing Pakikisama

• "Kain po!"

Food plays an integral part in the concept of pakikisama practiced in Filipino culture, serving as an instrument for celebration and gatherings in general. In the Philippines, it is common courtesy to invite someone to eat when you’re eating, even if the portions are hardly enough for you and the person you are offering it to. The most common situation would be if someone were to walk in the dining room while you and your family were eating; one would say "kain po!" (translates to "Let's eat!" in English) out of courtesy, to which, the other person is commonly expected to refuse the offer. This is done as an attempt to let the other person feel welcome in their presence and not totally out of place as they eat.

• Sharing food during fiestas

One of the traditions of a Filipino Fiesta is the open house. Meaning, everyone is welcome in each others' homes to eat, invited or not. In some cases, declining an invitation would actually be considered rude. This portrays pakikisama in the way that it shows the willingness to share blessings with one another, even to strangers.

• Leaving the last piece or portion of food for others

In the Philippines, it is common courtesy to avoid taking the last piece of food. This is to show consideration towards others who would like to take it. However, what often happens is that nobody takes the piece for themselves, leaving the last piece untouched.

Utang na Loob in the Family Setting

Filipino children are also often expected to respect their parents  by forgoing their personal interests in order to prioritize household responsibilities. Such implicit expectations are due to the notion of utang na loob, implying that children owe everything to their parents (shelter, food, education, success, etc). Essentially, this notion has set standards for children to put their parents first or above their own as they have been responsible for rearing them. This idea has been highly criticized by Millennials and Generation Z as this may be a toxic personality trait that has been instilled to children that may lead to them not being able to have control over their lives.

Workplace

Aside from encountering pakikisama within the context of family, this phenomenon can also be seen and is an essential trait found within the workplace. At the core of the Filipino culture, socialization and relationship-building are important in creating a successful working experience in the Philippines. The concept of pakikisama is what allows workers to fulfill their duties and responsibilities more efficiently, as there is a sense of unity and camaraderie present in working with others. It also encourages workers to cultivate harmonious relationships with their peers which could even extend outside of the workplace.

However, it is important to note here that although the prevalence of pakikisama in the Philippines is a contributing factor as to why the country is seen as friendly and hospitable, there are downsides to this concept that may negatively impact an organization. Since pakikisama requires one to avoid disapproval and tension within the workplace, some workers, most especially those who are innocent, may feel hesitant to report any malpractices to those of higher positions as this can create tension among members. In addition to this, bribery and acts of corruption tend to become acceptable for underpaid workers as this serves as a means to earn and provide more for their families. Reporting such wrongful actions and placing them at risk for losing their jobs can be seen as a betrayal of trust, therefore, a violation to the concept of pakikisama. Furthermore, positive pakikisama is not always present in workplaces in the Philippines as it is highly dependent on the atmosphere and environment being nurtured within the organization. For instance, the presence of managers who abuse their power and their subordinates as well as co-workers who possess a sense of hostility may not enable pakikisama to thrive.

Despite these disadvantages, when done in good faith, pakikisama brings about the concept of “bayanihan”, another Filipino core value that refers to how people work together as one community without expecting anything in return. In the workplace, this can positively affect how employees work together, which proves how this characteristic can be beneficial to an organization.

Community

Utang na Loob

Utang na loob is not only present among Filipino families but also in the community. In response to an act of kindness, Filipinos will often feel they are indebted to altruistic and generous individuals and are often expected to repay that act of kindness whenever the time comes. Utang na loob, in English, directly translates to "debt of the inner self"; however, to encapsulate and simplify the whole idea of it, it could easily mean "debt of gratitude". It is a system of contractual obligation which compels one to return the generosity they have received. It is a system of contractual obligation which compels one to return the generosity they have received. In a way, this trait or culture of Filipinos seems to be paradoxical as Filipinos love being helpful and generous to everyone but it may come with a price that is immaterial. Extending help and utang na loob appear to be a conditional act, rather than unconditional which may defeat the purpose and essence of pakikisama.  

In fact, President Duterte even used the excuse of utang na loob in defending the Philippine government's response to China. He may have taken the notion of utang na loob to the extreme, making Filipinos look obsequious to China. He justifies his lack of action against China because the country “owes” China for helping us face the current crisis [and other political interests]. This just shows how the idea of feeling indebted when one has done a good deed toward you is not always a healthy trait. Insofar as feeling grateful and appreciative to the individual for their generosity, we must not foster an environment that asks for things (tangible or intangible) in return as a reward; it must be done out of our own free will.

Socialism/Bayanihan in Times of Crisis

• Community Pantries in the pandemic

The concept of the community pantry was first introduced in 2021 during the COVID-19 widespread, by a furniture refurbishing business owner named Patricia Non. The main motivation as to why she established that certain non-profit business was because of seeing how millions of Filipinos, including her staff, struggled to survive in meeting their everyday needs during the said pandemic.  

As the community pantry was given great attention by Filipinos, a lot of these people started to establish their own community pantries as well. Here, they saw that the community pantries became a means to bring the nation as one, in a time where trusting their government and their leaders became already difficult for them to do.

Hence, as the poverty in the Philippines continued to increase during the pandemic, a sense of bayanihan was felt within the country’s people as donations from those community pantries, such as food, were able to reach those who are less fortunate.

• Donation drives for victims of natural disasters

The Philippines experiences an average of 20 typhoons annually, of which 5 are considered destructive. Because of its geographical location being in the “Pacific Ring of Fire,” this makes the country highly susceptible to various natural disasters such as sea level rise, floods, tsunamis, storm surges, landslides, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, and drought (Asian Disaster Reduction Center, n.d.). With this phenomenon, several Filipino households fall victim to such disasters every year--triggering the bayanihan spirit of the Filipinos in the form of working together to organize and execute donation drives for their fellow countrymen that have been severely affected by natural disasters. In many cases, these groups organizing donation drives consist of "ordinary" citizens of all walks of life, and are urged to do so due to the awareness that external support is limited.

Pakikisama

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This article "Pakikisama" is from Wikipedia. The list of its authors can be seen in its historical and/or the page Edithistory:Pakikisama. Articles copied from Draft Namespace on Wikipedia could be seen on the Draft Namespace of Wikipedia and not main one.

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