Samual Nicholls
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Samual "Sam" Nicholls (born 8th July 1995) is an English competitive dancer
| Personal information | |
|---|---|
| Citizenship | English |
| Education | Repping Repton
|
| Height | Still growing, beefy |
| Life partner(s) | Caitlin |
Early Life[edit]
Honestly, not a clue. He went to Repton, he's from the North and he has terrible eyesight approx 2 points away from seeing eye dog. It is currently debated whether Sam carries the gene for the Benjamin Button disease, largely attributed to a hairline that appears to recede and grow in accordance to the Lunar cycle.
Career[edit]
Leaving a life of debauchery highlighted by infidelity with a best-friend's mum and mile-high action on a Virgin Atlantic flight. Samual entered the University as a devout born-again Christian, starting his first term, he willingly sacrificed an opportunity to qualify for the Oxford University Swimming Club's (OUSC) Blues Team to interact with other members of the Christian society, and not for the free curry. It was here that he was talent-scouted for his curvy hips and selectively recruited to become the 2022-23 OUSC Team Junior (TJ).
OUHC x OUSC Crew Date[edit]
Sam had particularly impressed draft scouts during the pre-season and was called up to his first match with the Oxford University Hockey Club (OUHC) Women's Team. Playing his first away game at St Peter's College bar, Sam convincingly throughout the crew date, earning the honors of finishing the evening with the traditional striptease. It was here that Sam's lack of communication skills became particularly apparent, incorrectly interpreting advice received from OUSC stalwart Max Anderson Loake and costing the team an opportunity for the win.
Subsequent efforts to rescue this mission by other members were unsuccessful, and the game was called. All in all, Sam had lost his trousers, torn his T-shirt, and earned himself multiple yellow cards followed by a red card for unsportsmanlike behavior when he wheel-barrowed his shiny silver speedos and bollocks in the face of the OUHC TJ. He was dealt with a heavy fine and failed his DBS check as a result.
Religion and Perspective Change
Acknowledging his transgressions, Sam sought solace in Judaism, joining the Oxford University Jewish Congregation (JSoc), and not for the free water bottle. For a long time, Sam has been a passionate mathematician, second to his passion for strip teases. Multiple visits to Park End in his time at Oxford has since changed his opinion, he now agrees that engineering is the harder subject to maths.
Personal Life[edit]
Sam is currently in a committed relationship with Caitlin. However, he has been known to admire the bunda of male authoritative figures, not limited to his mathematics professor. Sam is also father to a son Ben, who appears to be of Asian ethnicity. Scientific explanations to this phenomena remains under study.
Political Beliefs[edit]
Sam is a strong supported of the Brexit campaign. His favorite slogan is "Brexit means Brexit" and his favorite food is the Iceland Chicken Tikka Masala Yorkshire Pudding. It has been shown that Sam is unable to distinguish individuals not of Caucasian descent. Despite fathering his Asian son Ben, he remained convinced that Ben was initially mute, before progressing to beliefs that Ben spoke Mandarin Chinese. Scientific explanations to this phenomena also remains under study.
References[edit]
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