User:Magpie
From EverybodyWiki Bios & Wiki
Magpie (stylized as magpie or sometimes just ✧) is an Internet entity of indeterminate species and moral alignment, primarily distinguished by an uncompromising devotion to the acquisition of objects that exhibit at least one of the following properties:
- shininess ≥ 7.3/10
- questionable ownership status
- mild sentimental value to someone else
Biography
Very little is known, because Magpie refuses to elaborate and changes the story every time someone asks.
Early life rumors include:
- being raised by a adopter of crows who later regretted adopting them
- spontaneously manifesting inside a jewelry store display case at 3:47 a.m. on a Tuesday
- once being a normal human until they made direct eye contact with a disco ball
Online presence
Magpie maintains a low-key but persistent presence across platforms, usually characterized by:
- comments consisting of 3–7 emojis followed by sudden disappearance
- profile pictures that are either extremely blurry bird selfies or stock photos of foil balloons
- retweeting/reblogging only things that sparkle, are cursed, or both
Philosophy
“Everything is a potential collection piece if you tilt your head and squint.” — Magpie, probably (unsourced)
