Emotional grooming

The word “grooming” is often used to describe the act of making one look presentable, such as combing hair or putting on make-up. However, in our case, grooming is described as a “patterned behavior designed to increase opportunities for sexual assault, minimize victim resistance or withdrawal, and reduce disclosure or belief.” Related types of grooming include emotional grooming, victim grooming, child grooming, and environmental grooming.

Grooming is a common term used by professionals that work with sex offenders. This behavior is present in every single sexual assault case, in one form or another, although the age of the victims and the actual length of the grooming process varies. Grooming cases range from power rape situations to adolescent sexual assault. According to the book, Unmasking Sexual Con Games, perpetrators use certain tactics to gain the trust of their victim, either over a short or long period of time. There are nine tell-tale signs of the grooming process, and the groomer uses some, or all, of these tactics to gain control

• Jealousy and Possessiveness
• Use of Insecurity
• Anger Powered by Blame
• Intimidation
• Accusations
• Flattery
• Status
• Bribery

Due to our culture that normalizes male dominance, emotional grooming and sexual predatory behavior are cultural norms. It is the result of unequal power equations that place men at the top and women at the bottom.

References

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