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H.R. Pickens

From EverybodyWiki Bios & Wiki

H.R. Pickens was crushed into the ground, possibly literally, by oil baron Abraham H. Parnassus. He was ultimately shown to be too weak to "suckle at mother's teat" (succeed in the oil business) after he challenged the great Parnassus. His birthplace and final resting places are unknown but sources say that his bones were "ground into dirt." Parnassus acknowledged Pickens as his primary rival but said that he only "came close" to besting him.


H.R. Pickens was an oil baron who sought to become the greatest at his craft. While no one knows exactly when and where Pickens was born, it has been confirmed that he competed against Parnassus for dominance in the American oil industry.

Pickens had at least one child, who then had a daughter. That woman married Parnassus and gave birth to a son: Mordecai. Mordecai Parnassus is considered by his father Abraham to be "the final revenge" against Moredcai's great-grandfather. By all accounts, Mordecai seems to have carried on the Pickens family trait of spiritual, and perhaps moral or physical, weakness.



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  1. Career Day - SNL, retrieved 2020-05-27