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List of Nostalgia Critic episodes (2009)

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Nostalgia Critic (2009)
Country of originUnited States
No. of episodes52
Release
Original networkThat Guy with the Glasses
Original releaseJanuary 6 (2009-01-06) –
December 29, 2009 (2009-12-29)
Season chronology
← Previous
2007/2008
Next →
2010
List of Nostalgia Critic episodes

The second year of comedy web series Nostalgia Critic began in 2009, featuring episodes within "Nickelodeon Month", in which he exclusively reviewed programs broadcast on Nickelodeon.

The 47th episode is the first to be filmed in 16:9 widescreen, which became standard for all subsequent episodes, with the exception of Episode 49, which was filmed and meant to air in 2008, and was also the last episode to air in 4:3. A new episode format was added with the 62nd episode, dubbed "Old Vs. New", in which two versions of the same intellectual property are compared and rated against each other. The year 2009 introduced crossovers with other Channel Awesome video producers, starting with the 47th episode. Starting with episode 53, each episode has an illustration cover of what the episode will be online.

Episodes[edit | edit source]

No. in
series
Title Performed by Written by Release date
43"Nicktoons"Doug WalkerDoug WalkerJanuary 6, 2009 (2009-01-06)

The Critic reviews Nicktoons:

The Ren & Stimpy Show (1991–96)
He highly praises the characters, the animation, and the outright insane nature, saying that watching it is like having a sugar rush. He also notes that one of the biggest controversies was whether or not Ren and Stimpy are gay, to which the creator, John K., answered, "I don't know, it's none of my business."

Rugrats (1991–2004)
He praises its laid-back atmosphere and Angelica's memorably evil character, but mentions some questionable moments. He notes that each episode begins with a random extreme close up, noting an instance in which Spike's tongue is used for the close-up.

Doug (1991–94)
He openly dislikes it for the animation and characters, but mostly because the unpopular title character shares the same first name as him, and the Critic remembers being bullied as a child because of the show.

Note: He inaccurately assumes that Doug takes place in high school. It is clearly stated in at least one episode that Doug is eleven-and-a-half years old, and in the final episode is stated that he is going into junior high school.

Rocko's Modern Life (1993–96)
He describes it as a slightly cleaner version of Ren and Stimpy, praising the characters and setup, but shows distaste for some overly bizarre moments and obvious movie references.

Aaahh!!! Real Monsters (1994–97)
He praises its originality, characters and premise, but questions some of the adult humor.

Hey Arnold! (1996–2004)
He says it is the last show he saw on Nickelodeon, and reviews it based on its intro, asking why Arnold wears a skirt, and finding the overall premise uninteresting.

Note: It was explained in the cartoon that his skirt is actually a shirt, and episodes of Hey Arnold! even have Arnold shown while wearing the shirt without the sweater.
44"Nickcoms"Doug WalkerDoug WalkerJanuary 13, 2009 (2009-01-13)

The Critic reviews Nickcoms:
You Can't Do That on Television (1979–90)
Clarissa Explains It All (1991–94)
Hey Dude (1989–91)
Salute Your Shorts (1991–92)
The Adventures of Pete & Pete (1993–96)

He admits that some of the shows are clever and creative (especially Pete & Pete, which he is a fan of for its surreal humor), but overall boring and unfunny (especially Hey Dude).
45"SNICK"Doug WalkerDoug WalkerJanuary 20, 2009 (2009-01-20)

The Critic reviews SNICK shows:
Roundhouse (1992–96)
He pans the show for its unprofessional presentation compared to its successor All That. Especially noted is a sketch which goes from "let's talk about it" to a random moment of breakdancing.

Are You Afraid of the Dark? (1990–2000)
He criticizes the show's formulaic storytelling, poor special effects and weak performances from the child actors, but acknowledges that it was entertaining enough to keep him watching until the very end.

All That (1994–2005)
He considers the show to be very hit-or-miss with sketches like Loud Librarian and Everyday French with Pierre Escargot being funny while others like Vital Information were not.

Kablam! (1996–2000)
He could only find clips from the Action:League Now and Prometheus and Bob segments and considers them to be funny, but he can't go much deeper since he didn't watch the show as a kid.

Kenan & Kel (1996–2000), focusing mainly on the movie Two Heads Are Better Than None (2000) He considers the comedy-style to be played out, but doesn't pan it.

Note: After this review, he announced he would do Nick game shows, but since Double Dare was already reviewed and he could not find good footage of any of the other Nickelodeon game shows such as Guts, he had to review Good Burger.
46"Good Burger"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerJanuary 27, 2009 (2009-01-27)

The Critic reviews Good Burger (1997). He complains about the absurd situations, dialogue, characters and jokes, and questions Abe Vigoda's presence. Special criticism is reserved for a scene where Ed sticks grapes up his nose and repeatedly says 'bloopity' and a long drawn out and somewhat improvised scene where Dexter is reprimanded for accidentally ramming into his teacher's car.

Real Thoughts:
47"FernGully: The Last Rainforest"Doug Walker & Lindsay EllisDoug Walker & Rob Walker
Lindsay Ellis
February 3, 2009 (2009-02-03)

The Critic and Nostalgia Chick review FernGully: The Last Rainforest (1992). They comment about the film's preachy attitude, characters and some scientific and geographical inaccuracies.

Note: The term "Big-Lipped Alligator Moment" is first coined in this episode, when a totally pointless scene comes out of nowhere (i.e. The Pink Elephants sequence from Dumbo) and no one ever mentions it again.

Real Thoughts:
48"A Kid in King Arthur's Court"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerFebruary 10, 2009 (2009-02-10)
The Critic reviews A Kid in King Arthur's Court (1995). He criticizes the absurd situations, amateur filmmaking techniques and historical/mythological inaccuracies. He is also shocked to find Kate Winslet and Daniel Craig beginning their careers in this film.
49"The Good Son"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerFebruary 13, 2009 (2009-02-13)

The Critic reviews The Good Son (1993). Using cue cards and subtitles as Doug Walker had lost his voice yelling how bad this movie is, his main complaint is the plot's execution and unrealistic characters, particularly the film's kid antagonist Henry Evans (played by Macaulay Culkin), and the fact that the adults are too stupid to see that Culkin's character is evil, with special criticism reserved for his out-of-place lines of dialogue for kids' standards, most notably "Don't fuck with me", literally killing the Critic's childhood.

Note: This review was supposed to air on December 9, 2008, but as stated in a video update, Doug postponed the review due to the death of Macaulay's sister Dakota.[1]
50"Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerFebruary 17, 2009 (2009-02-17)

The Critic reviews both Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog (1993) and Sonic the Hedgehog (1993–1994). He criticizes the former as "crazy" and nothing more than "pure bullshit", criticizing the poor animation, annoying characters and their voices, lack of story, few nonsensical morals and insane demeanor. However, he praises the Saturday morning version for giving "Honest to God effort!", being dark and grim and having complex characters, an intimidating villain, subtle environmental message, and a remarkably developed storyline (even for Sonic standards), even considering it '#12' on his Top 11 Animated Shows (Episode 30). In the commentary for the review, both Doug and Rob Walker admitted to actually finding the former cartoon so-bad-its-good, due to its surreal nature.

Real Thoughts:
51"Top 11 Nostalgic Mindfucks"Doug WalkerDoug WalkerFebruary 24, 2009 (2009-02-24)

The Critic lists the top 11 surreal moments from movies, TV shows and video games. (In a nod to their oddness, he numbers the list unconventionally).

11 (Banana). Toontown from Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
10 (Balloon). Cool World (1992)
9 (Z). Dragon's Lair II: Time Warp (1991)
8 (Toaster). The Paraphernalia Wagon from Halloween Is Grinch Night (1977)
7 (). Raggedy Ann & Andy: A Musical Adventure (1977)
6 (#). The Opening to the Beetlejuice cartoon (1989-91)
5 (Lamp). Beavis' hallucination in Beavis and Butt-head Do America (1996)
4 (Guttenberg). The "Tunnel from Hell" in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971)
3 (π). "This Is Halloween" from The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
2 (Piano). "Pink Elephants on Parade" from Dumbo (1941)
1 (E = mc2). The opening to Pee-wee's Playhouse (1987)

Note: The song that plays in the background throughout most of this episode is "The Greatest Show Unearthed" by Creature Feature. Most of the background images were used from Cyriak, but the wrong source was used and in the next video the Critic correctly acknowledges the creator. The Critic also would later do a full review of Cool World in 2017.
52"Twister"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerMarch 3, 2009 (2009-03-03)

The Critic reviews Twister (1996). He says the movie was a hit solely for the effects, criticizing the main characters, Philip Seymour Hoffman's character, the performances of Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt which he considers awkward, and the film's scientific inaccuracies.

Real Thoughts: Doug revealed that he didn't like the movie, while Rob actually loved the movie as he thought it was stupid fun.
53"The Garbage Pail Kids Movie"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerMarch 10, 2009 (2009-03-10)

The Critic reviews the film that broke him completely, The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987). He considers the film to be painful, heavily panning the lack of plot or story, terrible characters, horrible acting, unfunny and disgusting humor, a hugely hypocritical delivery of the film's message, and poorly designed puppets. The episode ends with a parody of the final sequence of 2001: A Space Odyssey, where the Critic finds older versions of himself and becomes a singing piece of feces (showing off his accomplished singing voice). Special criticism is reserved for the scene where the Garbage Pail Kids start singing due to there being no indication of there being a musical and the appearance of the State Home for the Ugly.

Notes: When Doug Walker and his brother, Rob, did a commentary on the episode, they stated that Anthony Newley, who played Captain Manzini in the film, was a good actor and if the film was slightly better, he could have saved the film and he was in fact the closest to a positive element they could see in their viewing. They also admitted that Ali Gator was the least obnoxious of the kids.

Later on, Doug Walker placed the film at #1 on his "Worst Movies Nostalgia Critic's Reviewed" list. He details that he also considers it the worst movie he has ever seen, saying it was doubly frustrating to watch do to him ironically being a fan of The Garbage Pail Kids cards. He also admitted to begging his mother to take him to see the film, but she kept him away, which he now greatly thanks her for.
54"Rock-a-Doodle"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerMarch 17, 2009 (2009-03-17)

The Critic reviews Rock-a-Doodle (1991). He marks this as the start of Don Bluth's decline in animated films, even though he says the movie is more odd than it is bad. He criticizes the very strange plot, annoying characters (especially the voice acting for Edmund), frequent songs and the casting of Christopher Plummer as the King of Owls. He concludes by saying the film is "literally like they just made up the story as they went".

Real Thoughts:
55"Titanic: The Animated Movie"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerMarch 24, 2009 (2009-03-24)
The Critic reviews Titanic: The Legend Goes On (2000). Among the poor quality and taste of the film, he criticizes the historical inaccuracies, nonsensical characters, mediocre animation, reusing the same frames over and over again and how it blatantly rips off the blockbuster film, Titanic as well as movies by Disney, Warner Bros, Universal and 20th Century Fox. Special criticism is reserved for a scene involving a rapping dog.
56"The Pagemaster"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerMarch 31, 2009 (2009-03-31)
The Critic reviews The Pagemaster (1994). He starts off thinking he is reviewing Moonwalker, but realizes the film he is actually reviewing was so dull and boring he does not even remember it, with no interesting or memorable characters, and no opportunities to know the famous stories shown throughout and criticizes Turner Entertainment's involvement in the film. However, he does praise the animation and says that it was a nice idea for a film, acknowledging its good intentions.
57"Moonwalker"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerApril 7, 2009 (2009-04-07)

The Critic reviews Moonwalker (1988). He finds the movie to be nothing more than a massive ego-trip for Michael Jackson, and ridicules the often nonsensical segments of the film, though praises the "Smooth Criminal" music video in the middle of the film, referring to it as "the coolest fucking thing I've ever seen".

Note: This is the debut of the "DRAT! I've been foiled by the power of love!"
58"Top 11 Dumbest Superman Moments"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerApril 14, 2009 (2009-04-14)

The Critic compiles a list of the dumbest moments of the Superman films:

11. Casting Brandon Routh and Kate Bosworth in Superman Returns (2006)
10. The Dumb-Ass Kid at Niagara Falls from Superman II (1980)
9. Recreating the romantic flying scene from Superman in Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)
8. The woman and the baby carriage from Superman II
7. The special effects of Superman IV
6. Clark Kent's glasses (1978-2006)
5. Nuclear Man's creation in Superman IV
4. The opening of Superman III (1983)
3. Superman's mind erasing kiss in Superman II
2. Richard Pryor in Superman III

1. Superman time-traveling by rotating the Earth backwards in Superman (1978)
59"TMNT"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerApril 21, 2009 (2009-04-21)

The Critic reviews TMNT (2007), after many requests by his fans. While he believes Mako's performance doesn't hold up compared to previous Splinter voices, finds the plot too convoluted, and many of the characters underdeveloped, he notes that it's not a bad film, let alone horrible, and also praises the film's CGI animation and use of atmosphere, which he jokingly likens to a video game.

Real Thoughts:
60"Red Sonja"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerMay 5, 2009 (2009-05-05)
The Critic reviews Red Sonja (1985). Before the review, he recounts the life of deceased Japanese/American actor Mako Iwamatsu, taking advantage of the opportunity to apologize for his critical remarks about Mako's voice as Splinter in his previous TMNT review, saying that he doesn't hate Mako, nor was he being critical of Mako himself, he just didn't know who he was and honestly didn't feel like his voice matched up compared to previous Splinter voices. After that, he explains that he finds the film's story to be an underdeveloped Conan rip-off, criticizes the out-of-match Ennio Morricone score, cheap visual effects and finds both Brigitte Nielsen and Arnold Schwarzenegger's performances lackluster, though questions why Schwarzenegger himself thought this movie was the one he considers the worst.
61"Short Circuit 1 and 2"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerMay 12, 2009 (2009-05-12)
The Critic reviews Short Circuit (1986) and Short Circuit 2 (1988). He concludes that while they technically are bad movies with weird/ridiculous plots, weirdly acted (especially from Steve Guttenberg in the 1st movie) with corny dialogue, make very weak attempts at humor, both Johnny 5 and Benjamin are admittedly likable characters, despite the latter being a highly offensive Indian stereotype, and considers them "a guilty pleasure". Special criticism is reserved for an incredibly dark and sad scene in Short Circuit 2 in which the villains violently destroy Johnny 5.
62"Old Vs. New - Batman Vs. The Dark Knight"Doug WalkerDoug WalkerMay 19, 2009 (2009-05-19)

The Critic compares Batman (1989) with The Dark Knight (2008).

Best Batman: Michael Keaton
Best Joker: Heath Ledger
Best Supporting Cast: Batman (mostly due to the character of Bob, the Joker's main goon who's gained a cult following among Batman fans)
Best Action Scenes: The Dark Knight
Best Story: Batman

Batman wins over The Dark Knight: 3-2. As a result of this, Christian Bale calls the Critic (using audio clips from his infamous meltdown on the set of Terminator Salvation) to berate him at length.
63"Full House"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerMay 26, 2009 (2009-05-26)
The Critic reviews Full House (1987–95). He considers it one of the worst shows ever, criticizing it for being unfunny, boring, and repetitive and having faked happiness, uninteresting characters and no real conflict. However, he finds some of the actresses to be attractive.
64"North"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerJune 2, 2009 (2009-06-02)

The Critic reviews North (1994) to see why Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel hated the movie. He criticizes the random musical number, ethnic stereotypes, racist portrayals, adult content, unnecessary cameos, cold-hearted characters, awful jokes, the bizarre Bruce Willis character, the overall ridiculous scenario and the insane retcon in which the whole story turns out to be a dream. Special criticism is reserved for the opening, in which North passes out because of his parents arguing, and the father says "Here, loosen his pants." The Critic also concludes that the director Rob Reiner felt he had made too many good movies and so, to even it out, he needed a bad one.

Doug Walker later put this review at #8 in the retrospective "Top 11 Best Nostalgia Critic episodes".
65"Sidekicks"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerJune 16, 2009 (2009-06-16)
The Critic reviews Sidekicks (1992). His main complaint is that the vast majority of the film is a self-indulgent plug for the director's brother Chuck Norris, criticizing his and Jonathan Brandis' performances, the bizarre plot, similarities to The Karate Kid, mean-spirited characters, and poor choreography of the action scenes. He also pretends not to dislike Mako's bad acting due to the bad response about his comments during his TMNT review.
66"Gargoyles"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerJune 23, 2009 (2009-06-23)
The Critic reviews Gargoyles (1994–97). This episode is one of the few where he does not criticize, save for the unusual storyline and the third season, The Goliath Chronicles.
67"Transformers 2"Doug WalkerDoug WalkerJune 27, 2009 (2009-06-27)
The Critic reviews Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009), in the same style of his first episode. He considers it "adequately satisfying" despite a weak plot.
68"Steel"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerJune 30, 2009 (2009-06-30)
The Critic reviews Steel (1997). He criticizes the wooden acting of Shaquille O'Neal and bad dialogue, and considers Steel as the "worst superhero ever". He points out that the only good factors are Annabeth Gish's performance and character, and the funny reaction of a man about to be blown away by a grenade. Special criticism is reserved for the casting of Richard Roundtree.
69"Top 11 Cereal Mascots"Doug WalkerDoug WalkerJuly 7, 2009 (2009-07-07)

The Critic lists the top 11 cereal mascots:

11. Toucan Sam from "Froot Loops" (1945 - present)
10. Cookie Crook and Officer Crumb from "Cookie Crisp" (1981-97)
9. Buzz Bee from "Honey Nut Cheerios" (referred to as "The Honey Nut Cheerios Bee") (1979 - present)
8. Wendell from "Cinnamon Toast Crunch" (1987 - present)
7. Lucky from "Lucky Charms" (1962 - present)
6. Cap'n "Horatio Magellan" Crunch from "Cap'n Crunch" (1963 – present)
5. Count Chocula from "Count Chocula" (1971 - present)
4. Sonny the Cuckoo Bird from "Cocoa Puffs" (1962 - present)
3. Sugar Bear from "Golden Crisp" (1964 - present)
2. The Trix Rabbit from "Trix" (1959 - present)

1. Tony the Tiger from "Frosted Flakes" (1958 – present)
70"Barb Wire"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerJuly 14, 2009 (2009-07-14)
The Critic reviews Barb Wire (1996). He claims this film was made solely for Pamela Anderson's figure, points out several blatant sexual overtones, criticizes the dialogue as bland and characters as hard to like, and concludes that the plot was ripping off Casablanca. However, he says the climax fight with the main character and villain on vehicles picked up by a junkyard crane is an impressive action scene. The episode ends with him admiring a scene involving dancing strippers, requiring his brother, Rob, to come in and wheel him out.
71"Old Vs. New: Lord Of The Rings Animated Vs. Lord of the Rings"Doug WalkerDoug WalkerJuly 21, 2009 (2009-07-21)

The Critic compares The Lord of the Rings (1978) with the first two films of The Lord of the Rings film trilogy (2001–03, New Line).

Best Frodo Baggins: Animated Film. - He says the animated Frodo seemed stronger and closer to the book despite saying Elijah Wood was a great casting choice in the live action films.
Best Supporting Cast: Live-Action Films - He says the characters in the live action films had more time for development. However, he says the character of Aragorn was portrayed better in the cartoon version due to being voiced by John Hurt. Special criticism is reserved for the animated film's portrayal of Samwise Gamgee.
Best Villains: Animated Film - While he enjoys Christopher Lee as Saruman and is torn by the Black Riders, he prefers the animated version of Sauron because he is never fully shown, therefore making him more mysterious and sinister.
Best Action Scenes: Live-Action Films - While saying the Bakshi version has more realistic battles, he says that some of the best action scenes come from Return of the King, which Bakshi never made and that the action scenes in Jackson's films are more energized.
Best Story: Live-Action Films - He says the Jackson films have the advantage because they have all the stories while Bakshi has only the first two. However, he says Bakshi does have some strong scenes in his movie.

The live-action films win over the animated film: 3-2. At the end, the Critic begins to compare the 1980 The Return of the King adaptation with its live-action counterpart, but after finding out that it was made by Rankin-Bass (a studio whose output the Critic almost entirely hates) and seeing a few seconds of footage, he immediately declares the live-action version to be the winner.
72"Last Action Hero"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerJuly 28, 2009 (2009-07-28)

The Critic reviews Last Action Hero (1993). He criticizes the amount of dialogue compared to the action, the senseless celebrity cameos, and the lack of realism in the movie's "real world" segment. However, he admits that the ideas were creative and was interested in the villain's master plan to bring various antagonists from other films.

Real Thoughts:
73"Captain N: The Game Master"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerAugust 4, 2009 (2009-08-04)

The Critic reviews Captain N: The Game Master (1989–91). He finds the animation sloppy, the writing inconsistent, and the show's characters to be irritating, undeveloped and barely resembling their video game designs. He especially shows a strong distaste for the butchering of Simon Belmont's character, who comes off as wimpy and foppish.

Note: Doug Walker and his brother Rob did a commentary on the episode and admitted to enjoying the show despite the way it portrayed some of their favorite characters as well as finding humor with Levi Stubbs as Mother Brain. They continued talking about their real feelings in their "Real Thoughts" video.

Real Thoughts:
74"We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerAugust 11, 2009 (2009-08-11)
"Raoul Puke", in place of the Critic, reviews We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story (1993). Despite praising the animation style, he considers the film to be a "Big Lipped Alligator Movie", due to its many over-the-top and pointless moments. He also criticizes the poorly written script, weird close-ups, often scary visuals, annoying characters, and an overly long and random chase in the middle, as well as a particularly jarring scene depicting the fate of the film's villain.
75"Warriors of Virtue"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerAugust 18, 2009 (2009-08-18)
The Critic reviews Warriors of Virtue (1997). He criticizes the film's dullness, the uninteresting main character, blurry fight scenes and lack of character development, but gives credit to Angus Macfadyen's over-the-top performance, calling it the only entertaining element in the whole film. Special criticism is reserved for the characters' mispronunciation of the word "tao", and a pointless scene showing a character continuously screaming.
76"Captain America"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerAugust 25, 2009 (2009-08-25)
The Critic reviews Captain America (1990). He criticizes the film for having a boring story, and considers Captain America in the film to be a boring and ineffective hero, in addition to the 1970's-esque production values despite being released in 1990. Special criticism is reserved for the film's excessive use of subtitles describing the setting and for the villain, Red Skull, losing his titular appearance halfway through the film. However, he does find some humor in an over-the-top scene where a villain kills a scientist.
77"Top 11 Nostalgia Critic Fuck-Ups"Doug WalkerDoug WalkerSeptember 1, 2009 (2009-09-01)

With help from his most obnoxious fan, Douchey McNitpick, the Critic counts down mistakes he has made in previous episodes:

11. Not understanding the reason why the African-American actor and Asian actress left from the cast of Power Rangers (He technically knew that they didn't leave the show because of their race, and was really just making a joke).
10. Placing the Banshee from Darby O'Gill and the Little People as #1 in "The Top 11 Scariest Nostalgic Moments" (he admits to personally finds it scary, but it requires the atmosphere to be built up, and that he should have placed Willy Wonka's tunnel from Hell at #1).
9. Wearing eyeliner in The Top 11 Dumbest Superman Moments without notice (he had filmed the episode immediately after filming Melvin: Brother of the Joker).
8. Mistaking some of Steven Chorney's posters for those of Drew Struzan.
7. Not giving a clear explanation of the secret passageway in the Bébé's Kids video game for SNES.
6. Mistaking a forklift for a bulldozer in Barb Wire.
5. Mistaking Robert Prosky for Art Carney in Last Action Hero.
4. Not realizing that some species of lizards can actually eat fish in Godzilla.
3. Insulting Mako in TMNT.
2. The constant spelling mistakes throughout the series.

1. Leaving out the death of Optimus Prime from The Transformers: The Movie from "The Top 11 Saddest Nostalgic Moments".
78"Alone in The Dark"
"Special Top Secret Review"
Doug Walker
Noah Antwiler & Lewis Lovhaug
Doug Walker & Rob Walker
Noah Antwiler & Lewis Lovhaug
September 8, 2009 (2009-09-08)
The Critic, speaking through a speech synthesis program as Walker had lost his voice, along with Spoony and Linkara review Alone in the Dark (2005). They criticize Uwe Boll's direction, the actors' performances, plot holes, nonsensical story, and bearing no resemblance to the video game on which it was based.
79"Blank Check"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerSeptember 15, 2009 (2009-09-15)
The Critic reviews Blank Check (1994). He criticizes the film for taking an idea with a lot of potential and developing it into something that already occurred in several other films during the '90s, with a ridiculous plot and performances, an emphasis on materialism, and complete lack of humor. Special criticism is reserved for the father's complete disregard for his young son and the relationship between the child hero and adult heroine.
80"Old Vs New: Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory Vs. Charlie And The Chocolate Factory"Doug WalkerDoug WalkerSeptember 22, 2009 (2009-09-22)
The Critic compares Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971) with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005). Even before starting the comparison, he openly admits that he considers the 2005 film vastly inferior to the earlier version and a mediocre film overall, and that the main purpose of this video is to illustrate where the newer version went wrong. The Critic admits in a later Old vs. New review of Manhunter vs. Red Dragon that loyalty to the source material does not always make a better movie.
Best Wonka: Old
While he praises both actors in general, he gives Gene Wilder the advantage as he hated Johnny Depp's performance as it was too awkward and had no clear idea what the character was doing.
Best Supporting Cast: Old
While the Critic praises both versions of the spoiled children (even praising the updates to the remake), he gives the edge to Willy Wonka, citing the more exotic personalities of the Oompa-Loompas, Jack Albertson's more stubborn performance of Grandpa Joe, and especially Peter Ostrum's realistic, down-to-earth personality as Charlie compared to Freddie Highmore's unrealistically positive Charlie.
Best Music: Old
The Critic states that while most of the 2005 songs are entertaining they're pretty forgettable or, in the case of "Wonka's Welcome Song", unbearably annoying giving that the 1971 songs the point because they are timeless classics.
Best Visuals: New
The Critic admits that while both films have impressive visuals, he believes the visuals in the remake were stronger due to Tim Burton's creative mind, larger budget, and enhanced technology.
Best Story: Old
The Critic states that, although the 2005 film was more loyal to its source novel and explains certain elements better, it made the crucial mistake of changing the focus of the story from Charlie to Willy Wonka.
Winner: The original wins over the remake: 4-1. The Critic asks to play the songs from the 1971 movie to end the episode, but is enraged when he instead gets the 2005 version's songs instead, as well as other songs the Critic finds annoying. In a homage to Duck Amuck, it's then revealed that Douchey McNitpick is editing the video.
81"Cool as Ice"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerSeptember 29, 2009 (2009-09-29)
The Critic reviews Cool as Ice (1991). He criticizes the lack of plot, summarizing the whole thing as just a vehicle to make Vanilla Ice look cool (and notes that it fails miserably), the bizarre sets and nonsensical editing, Vanilla Ice's wangsta performance and attempts at acting black, which only makes him seem whiter, and considers the whole thing in general to be ridiculous and "too white!" for even him to take, which ultimately results in the Critic dissolving into nothingness.
82"Suburban Commando"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerOctober 6, 2009 (2009-10-06)
The Critic reviews Suburban Commando (1991). Though admitting a few jokes are funny, and admitting to a fondness for the line, "I was frozen today!" he finds the overall film to be stupid and unoriginal, with a weak plot, poor acting, boring characters, too many awkward moments, lame jokes, and numerous similarities to Star Wars. Special criticism is reserved for a scene where Hogan's character and the child actor talk as though a video game in an arcade they are playing is a space alien shooter game (Despite the fact that the game is clearly recognizable as Sega's After Burner).
83"The Next Karate Kid"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerOctober 13, 2009 (2009-10-13)
The Critic reviews The Next Karate Kid (1994). He criticizes the film as a cash-in on the success of the first films, with mean-spirited characters, an unbelievably exaggerated school security and leader (whom the Critic becomes convinced could not be a sanctioned school employee based on his borderline psychotic personality), a weak script, and a confusing moral but praises Hilary Swank's performance.
84"Casper"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerOctober 20, 2009 (2009-10-20)

The Critic reviews Casper (1995). He criticizes the movie's lame puns, numerous cameo appearances, illogical nature of the plot and nearly excessive use of vulgar language, despite being considered a family movie. However, he admits that the film is certainly not terrible, gives credit to the sets and CG effects, and admits that the filmmakers at least "tried" to put effort into it. It finishes with him chasing an evil Casper, who had been annoying him during the review, throughout a GMX convention in Tennessee while dressed as a Ghostbuster. Fellow reviewer Linkara makes a cameo as one of the convention attendees who pursue Casper alongside the Critic. The review was later placed at #2 on the retrospective "Top 11 Best Nostalgia Critic Episodes".

Real Thoughts: While Doug and Rob agree that the movie tried too hard, they are split on the final product with Doug considering it a decent attempt while Rob considering it average.
85"Superman IV"Doug Walker & Lewis LohvaugDoug Walker & Lewis LohvaugOctober 27, 2009 (2009-10-27)

After Linkara attempts to review Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987) using The Nostalgia Critic persona, he finds himself confronted by the real Nostalgia Critic, who forces Linkara to complete the review with him at gunpoint. They criticize the film's inconsistencies, pointless side-stories, ludicrous morals and cheap visual effects. Special criticism is reserved for instances of breaking the laws of physics, such as Lacey being able to breathe in outer space, which the Critic describes as "kindergarten science".

Note: The Critic later ranked Superman IV #5 on his Top 11 Worst Sequels list.
86"Congo"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerNovember 3, 2009 (2009-11-03)

The Critic reviews Congo (1995). He mocks Tim Curry's Romanian accent in the film, criticizes the special effects for being silly (especially the ape costumes, which he finds cheaper than outfits at Spencer's Gifts), the storyline for being laughable, and points out that the only good parts of this film are Bruce Campbell & Ernie Hudson's appearances, and a laser gun used to combat the apes near the end of the film. Special criticism is reserved for Amy the gorilla's frequent requests to have Peter (her handler) tickle her.

Real Thoughts:
87"A Tribute to Siskel and Ebert"Doug WalkerDoug WalkerNovember 10, 2009 (2009-11-10)
The Critic pays tribute to two of the most beloved television film critics: Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert. He also discusses the show after Siskel's death, the Richard Roeper era, claims that successors Ben Lyons and Ben Mankiewicz were "douchebags", and the show as it was before the series ended in 2010 with Michael Phillips and A. O. Scott was slightly better, but still not the same as what the 1986-99 era had to offer.
88"Judge Dredd"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerNovember 17, 2009 (2009-11-17)

The Critic reviews Judge Dredd (1995). He makes fun of the film for being over-the-top, using every action movie cliche possible, and finds Rob Schneider's performance as annoying as Jar Jar Binks, but also admits that the film has a certain comedic and entertainment value for these very reasons and considers the film overall to be a guilty pleasure. Special criticism is reserved for every character's inability to properly pronounce the word "law".

Real Thoughts: Though neither were fans of the comic book, both Doug and Rob find the film hilariously bad though they both consider the movies sets and costumes legitimately good. They do, however, disagree over Rob Schneider though with Rob liking him in the film and Doug hating him.
89"Tank Girl"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerNovember 24, 2009 (2009-11-24)
The Critic reviews Tank Girl (1995). He finds the characters annoying and criticizes the incoherent plot, pointless scenes and the use of the actual comic panels in place of proper segues. Special criticism is reserved for a random musical number where the cast performs "Let's Do It, Let's Fall in Love".
90"Jack Frost"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerDecember 1, 2009 (2009-12-01)
To start off the holiday season, the Critic decides to review bad holiday-related movies. He begins by reviewing Jack Frost (1998), While he praises the film's looks and cinematography, as well as a funny reaction the bully makes when the snowman talks, and gives credit for not using the typical family clichés, he criticizes the stupid premise, lack of sense and creativity, snowman special effects, dialogue and characters. Special criticism is reserved for the presence of a chained-up Superman action figure with Batman's head, which the Critic says would have probably been better material for a movie.
91"He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerDecember 8, 2009 (2009-12-08)
The Critic reviews He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special (1985). While he considers it harmless, he notices (and counts) homosexual overtones, criticizes the musical number and notes the hypocrisy of a Christmas special involving animated violence.
92"The Return of the Christmas Specials"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerDecember 15, 2009 (2009-12-15)

The Critic lists the next top 11 (runner-up) Christmas specials:

  • 11. Elf
    • He does not consider the movie good due to the boring characters, weak jokes, and corny story, but still praises the premise and admits that Will Ferrell's performance completely saves the film, making it a Christmas classic.
  • 10. A Garfield Christmas Special
    • He acknowledges that the short can be cheesy at times and the songs are lame, but praises the animation, jokes, and the characters (mainly Garfield and the Arbuckle family).
  • 9. The Polar Express (but only in 3D)
    • He thinks the movie in 2D is okay, and feels the movie can be manipulative at times and the animation can be creepy, but he praises the premise and admits the 3D version makes the film stand out.
  • 8. Blackadder's Christmas Carol
    • He praises the special's comedy and dark nature, but does recommend people watch the show before the Christmas special.
  • 7. Gremlins
    • He admits that he is oddly reminded of the Christmas-related material in Gremlins making it a Christmas classic.
  • 6. The Nativity Story
    • He calls the film overlooked and praises the fact that it includes elements other adaptations didn't have, but he finds the spiritual aspects rushed.
  • 5. A Pinky and the Brain Christmas
    • He praises the humor, story, animation, and the ending for being both cheesy and touching.
  • 4. All in the Family: The Draft Dodger
    • While he calls the episode uncomfortable, he praises the writing, humor and calls it touching.
  • 3. Joyeux Noël
    • He calls the movie a good representation of a real event and is glad that it's getting attention.
  • 2. The Snowman
    • He calls the short a classic, highly praising the story and look, but criticizes the ending for being overly depressing and that it has no happiness in it.
  • 1. Die Hard
    • He claims that because it takes place on Christmas, it automatically makes it a Christmas special, praising everything about the movie and calls it a great action movie.

Note: Throughout the review, the Critic is constantly told of the Star Wars Holiday Special, but continues to state that the special does not exist, only to hear Yoda's laugh. At the end, he receives a package in the mail delivered by a Wookie, only to in horror discover that it is a DVD of Star Wars Holiday Special.

93"Star Wars Holiday Special"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerDecember 22, 2009 (2009-12-22)
The Critic reviews the Star Wars Holiday Special (1978), despite his efforts to escape. Before the review, he is already afraid of dealing with it, given that this is the one thing that George Lucas is personally ashamed of, despite him being okay with Howard the Duck and Jar Jar Binks. He considers it to be one of the worst Christmas specials ever, criticizing the focus on the Wookiee family, the Star Wars cast only appearing in cameos, excessive filler, and the animation from the cartoon segments, but he does praise Bea Arthur's performance in one segment. Special criticism is reserved for the annoying roars of the Wookiees in general, let alone a tribe of them, causing one of his ears to bleed at one point. At the end of the review, "Santa Christ" (played by Rob Walker) appears to wipe the Critic's memory of the show.
94"Ernest Saves Christmas"Doug WalkerDoug Walker & Rob WalkerDecember 29, 2009 (2009-12-29)

The Critic reviews Ernest Saves Christmas (1988). Like the other Ernest P. Worrell movies, he mocks the silly humor and elements that doesn't make much sense, although he admits that he watches it every year, loves Douglas Seale's performance of Santa, says the opening is nice (though misleading), and considers it a guilty pleasure. Special criticism is reserved for the presence of a bumper sticker reading "Keep Christ in Christmas", and that it is in a Santa Claus movie. Note: During the review, the Critic made a comment about autism that he later found to be inappropriate and removed. This is currently the only joke ever removed from the show because he thought it was low, unfair, and did not make much sense.

Real Thoughts: Doug and Ron consider the movie the best Ernest movie out there and even call Seale's performance the best on screen Santa Claus to date.

References[edit | edit source]

  1. "Good Son and December Update". That Guy With the Glasses. 2008-12-14. Retrieved 2013-05-05.


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