Miscellaneous Heathens
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To the reader: Please accept this disclosure that the authors do have close relations with some of the parties mentioned in this article. There is inherit implicit bias though the authors have done their best to document only the well-supported facts regarding this uniquely positioned group of humans.
The Miscellaneous Heathens began in New York City during a snow storm so blistery that a parade erupted into the street. Snow pants, mittens, and scarves scurried in all directions. Among the masses, was a collection of people who might be described as "cookie cutter status quo jockies." They walked peacefully, observing the freshly built snowmen and snow angels, avoiding snowballs when necessary. They were being so aloof, in fact, that a passerby shouted, "You little white fenced suburban Target shopping trash! You're a bunch of Miscellaneous Heathens!" It was at that very moment in time that the group was forever transformed and hence, the Miscellaneous Heathens were born.
The fearless leader of the Miscellaneous Heathens, Aidan, was born with a head circumference of 42.45213cm, which is 9% above the 99th percentile for male infants according to the CDC (1). Aidan sent handmade personalized invitations to everyone who attended that cold parade in New York City to join him for tea and cookies. 11 RSVP'ed yes, 1 person did not reply, and 1 person mailed back a postcard with inappropriate drawings that could only be presumed to mean no. They also did not show up IRL. At the tea party the Miscellaneous Heathens proclaimed their membership by joining one hand above their heads and one hand below to create a tunnel of sorts. Their spirits passed through this tunnel through manifestation in forms fitting to their astrological sign and they were rewarded with a ring pop (2) to symbolize their successful induction.
Of course all of these regular humans had your typical 9am-5pm scheduled desk jobs, so they quickly departed from tea with a promise to reunite once a year in the desert.
2015 - First Year Together In The Desert Aidan (leader) worked tediously to ensure that every member of the Miscellaneous Heathens would arrive to their desert locale with all of their needs being met. Once everyone had arrived, Aidan gathered the Heathens into the sacred space and
hydrogen based vehicle, the only one of its kind
randy onyx mango taz hobie jason adam cata aidan tommy dango henry
References[edit]
(1) https://www.cdc.gov/growthcharts/html_charts/hcageinf.htm (2) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ring_Pop
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